Each of us; parent (natural, step or foster),
grandparent, aunt, uncle (relative),
teacher or friend,
influences the life of a child,
by our actions and words . . .
whether we think they are looking or not . . .

. . . not "sometimes" or “someday” . . .
but now – - - minute, by minute - - - always today . . .
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
They seem not to notice us,
hovering, averting our eyes,and they seldom offer thanks,
but what we do for them is never wasted.
2


When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I learned that it was good
to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and it wasn't even my birthday,
and I knew that little things
are special things.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I heard you say a prayer,
and I believed there is a God
I could always talk to.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you become very angry,
and stay calm
and
"use your words",
and I learned to do that too.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you give my clothes that didn't fit any more
to those less fortunate,
and I learned to reach out to others to help.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you read,
just for fun,
and I learned to love books,
and learning.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you look at the night sky,
and I learned to see beauty in the world around me.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I heard you sing as you worked,
and I learned that work can bring great satisfaction.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you fail,
and make mistakes,
and I saw you keep doing your best,
and I learned perseverance.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you make a meal
and take it to a friend who was sick,
and I learned that we all
have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you give of your time and money
to help people who had nothing,
and I learned that those who have something
should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you take care of our house
and everyone in it,
and I learned we have to take care
of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw how you handled your responsibilities,
even when you didn't feel good,
and I learned that I would
have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned that sometimes things hurt,
but it's alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw that you cared,
and I wanted to be everything
that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
you kissed me good-night,
and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I learned most of life's lessons
that I need to know
to be a good and productive person
when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I looked at you and wanted to say,
'Thanks for all the things I saw
when you thought I wasn't looking.'

Written by a former child. 1

Children have never been very good
at listening to their elders,
but they have never failed to imitate them.
3


If you as parents cut corners,
your children will too.

If you lie,
they will too.

If you spend all your money on yourselves
and tithe no portion of it for charities,
colleges, churches, synagogues, and civic causes,
your children won't either.

And if parents snicker at racial, age
and gender jokes,
another generation will pass on the poison
adults still have not had the courage to snuff out.
4
Becoming responsible adults
is no longer a matter
of whether children hang up their pajamas
or put dirty towels in the hamper,
but whether they care about themselves and others –
and whether they see everyday chores
as related to how we treat this planet.
5


We influence our children in many ways:

Children are watching you
and doing as you
do,
not as you
say.

What have your children learned from you already?
What are your children learning from you - now?
* From, "One!The Journey hOMe",
the book  by Klaas Tuinman MA, ©2000-17
[1] -When You Thought I Wasn't Looking
~Mary Rita Schilke Korzan
(Original version has been expanded by anonymous others).
[2]
~Garrison Keillor
[3] ~James Baldwin
[4] ~Marian Wright Edelman
[5] ~Eda LeShan
[6 - 7] ~Klaas Tuinman+
When You Thought I Wasn't Looking
While parents can teach
through example and words,
and give good advice
to put their children on the right paths;

and while the final forming
of a child's character
lies in its own hands,
the sum total of the examples it experienced
will ultimately influence its decisions and choices.

The most accusing condemnation for a parent,
must be to overhear their child bitterly say,
“I don’t ever want to be like my mom - or dad”.

The most rewarding affirmation a parent can experience
is to hear their child approvingly say,
“I want to be just like my mom - or dad”. 6
"One! The Journey hOMe"
Dawn Cove Abbey
Roadside assistance for your Journey through Life
________________________________________________
Oh yes . . .
if perchance you screwed up with your kids,
always remember the qualities of screws:

they can also be
unscrewed . . .

you can reverse it all,
anytime you choose . . .
isn’t life
with second chances wonderful?
7

How will you touch the life of someone today?