Children's View Of The World - more yet: Part 3

Here is another collection of children's witticism and wisdom.  Children are great
teachers; if we listen. They have a wisdom all their own that often comes out humorous
and funny. When you listen more closely, you'll hear them say other things as well;
things often reflective of a less joyful and happy life. They have much to teach us - and
they deserve to be heard. ~KT+

It's just really the simple things that they say
that makes you realize
that children and really elderly people
are connected to another place. 1

A minister had recently moved into a new house,
and discovered that he would need to get a lawn mower.
He saw a young boy walking down the road, pushing an old mower.
He offered to trade the boy an old bicycle for the mower.

The boy ran home to get his parents approval.
He returned, saying that the trade was ok by his parents.

So the preacher gets the mower,
and sends the boy away on a bike.
The preacher then checks the fuel, etc,
and pulls the cord to start the mower.

The mower has other ideas.
The preacher works on the mower for some time,
getting tired and sweaty,
but to no avail.

He looks up to see the boy riding the bike past his house.
He calls the boy over to ask what is wrong with the mower.

The boy replies that the mower will only start
when someone gets mad
and gives it a good cussing.

The minister replies
"Son, I am a preacher.
I have practically forgotten how to cuss".

The boy answers,
"Keep pulling the cord.
You will remember".

Children imitate what they hear.
They don't know any better.
Often, one has to wonder who
was having what kind of conversation
around them . . .

This is a true story,
told to me by a Sunday School teacher:
She was teaching the children about the meaning of Good Friday
and asked the group if any of them knew
what happened to Jesus on that day.
piped up a little boy,
"he got hammered!"

Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room.
After a while he emerged and informed his mother
that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.

said the pleased mother.
"If you ask God to help you not misbehave,
He will help you."

"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny,
"I asked Him to help you put up with me!"

People who can’t see it for themselves
also can’t see it for you. 2

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike,
and as he preached he moved briskly about the platform,
jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side,
getting wound up in the cord
and nearly tripping before jerking it again.

After several circles and jerks,
a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother
and whispered,
"If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

Joshua is a 15-year-old school dropout.
His father is a drunkard
who spends most of his time at the bar.
His mother is a teacher.
When she is not in the classroom, she is at church.
For some strange reason,
they say he is the cause of all the family’s problems . . .
"When somebody's been dating for a while,
the boy might propose to the girl.
He says to her,
'I'll take you for a whole life,
or at least until we have kids
and get divorced.'"
~Anita, 9

"Most men are brainless,
so you might have to try more than once
to find a live one."
~Angie, age 10

"He is trying to steal her chewing gum!"
~Boy, age 6
"Never kiss in front of other people.
It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you.
But if nobody sees you,
I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy,
but just for a few hours." ~Kally, age 9

"It isn't always how you look.
Look at me.
I'm handsome like anything,
and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."
~Brian, age 7

If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family,
it doesn't hurt to be beautiful."
~Anita, age 8

"Romantic adults usually are all dressed up,
so if they are just wearing jeans
it might mean they used to go out
or they just broke up."
~Sarah, age 9

"Lovers will just be staring at each other
and their food will get cold.
Other people care more about the food."
~Brad, age 8

How To Tell If Two People Are Married:
"Married people
usually look happy to talk to other people." ~Eddie, age 6

"You might have to guess
based on whether they seem to be yelling
at the same kids."
~Derrick, age 8

"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.
Like if you like sports,
she should like it that you like sports,
and she should keep the chips and dip coming."
~Allan, age 10

Love advice:
"Dates are for having fun,
and people should use them to get to know each other.
Even boys have something to say
if you listen long enough." ~Lynnette, age 8

"Tell your wife that she looks pretty
even if she looks like a truck!"
~Ricky, age 7

Love Ballad title:
"'I Am In Love With You Most of the Time,
But Don't Bother Me When I'm With My Friends.'"
~Bob, age 9

"I’m not rushing into being in love.
I’m finding fourth grade hard enough."
~Regina, age 10

If being a loser is not an option,
 then you have no choice.
* From, "One!The Journey hOMe", the eBook  by Klaas Tuinman MA, ©2007-17
-Children Speak 3 ~Various
[1] ~Blair Underwood
[2] ~Les Brown
Don't sneeze in front of your mum,
when you're eating a cracker
~Mitchell, 12

If you want a kitten,
start out by asking for a horse
~Naomi, 15

A Sunday school teacher asked her class,
"What was Jesus' mother's name?"
One child answered, "Mary."

The teacher then asked,
"Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
A little kid said, "Verge."

Confused, the teacher asked,
"Where did you get that?"

The kid said, "Well, you know
they are always talking about Verge n' Mary."

In a TV program a group of 5-year-old children were asked
what is the meaning of life.
One little boy said:
"The meaning of life
is to stay on this earth
and not just fly around somewhere out there,
and sometimes I throw up easily."

Grandfather sleeps under a gravestone.
We pat him on the stone
and once we dug bulbs into the ground
so that he´d have something to chew.
~Siri, 5 years

"The priest asks,
do you want to marry the person standing next to you
or somebody else.
Most often there is no one else standing there,
so you answer ’I will’."
~Emil, 7 years

"Universe never ends.
Or then it ends,
where God´s home begins,
right there next to the fence."
~Roger, 7 years

"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell,
I don't want to do it.
It takes too long."
 ~Glenn, age 7

It is the nature of love to create.

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff.
I'm just a kid.
I don't need that kind of trouble."
~Kenny, age 7
MorningStar Inspirations
from Dawn Cove Abbey
Roadside Assistance For Your Journey Through Life