A Father means so many things . . .
                                                      A understanding heart,
                                                      A source of strength and of support
                                                      Right from the very start.
                                              A constant readiness to help
                                              In a kind and thoughtful way.
                                              With encouragement and forgiveness
                                              No matter what comes your way.
                                      A special generosity and always affection too
                              A Father means so many things
                              When he’s a man like you . . .
1


When I got married over two decades ago,
I always visualized having at least three or four children.
Sweet, cuddly daughters and fine young sons
who would give us happiness and light up our lives.

I assumed that with my husband's brains and disposition coupled with my
zest for life, we would raise dynamite kids.
But today we have only one son and no daughter.
Although he would grow up alone, he would never be lonely.
He would be a special child.

My husband has always played a major role in the upbringing of our son.
I give him a score of one hundred and one percent for all his endeavors
although even with his ability and competence, the nurturing of this child    
was never easy.

Since there is no school in fatherhood that lays down the groundwork in
rearing up a helpless infant to adulthood, he has had to study the parenting
course from A to Z.

     Today, fathers share the ordeal and pain in bringing up the kids ­
         from the delivery room up to the time he marches down the aisle
        with a son or daughter to give away in marriage.

They take time out from their busy jobs to attend school meetings, play
basketball and other countless games, watch sports on TV, tackle   
homework and do any of the 100 other things that define fatherhood.

They leave impressions on their children's lives in different ways.
And I do know from experience that it's the simple, common, ordinary   
things that seem to have the most impact on our children.

In the previous generation, the role of a father was solely patriarchal.
All of us loved our Dads but we quaked in fear whenever he raised his voice.
We respected and admired him but we were afraid to ask permission or    
rub him the wrong way.

They always seemed to set certain standards and norms for us to follow   
and there was none of the intimacy, casualness and openness that kids have
today with their fathers.


I am now remembering my father who was always roaming the world's   
seven seas.  He was seldom home and his infrequent homecomings were  
major events in our young lives.

Even then, I always knew he played favorites and he always brought home  
the nicest gift for our youngest sister.

My brothers and my other sister tried our best to curb jealous streaks    
but we could never rationalize the logic of it all.

We accepted his decision and abided with his choice.
We just learned to live with it.

And like everything else, what goes around, comes around.
Life has come to a full circle.

I have finally exorcised the demons of my childhood.
Now that I have a child of my own, I quite understand why many fathers  
have a special child.

Of course they try their utmost best to give equal and fair treatment to     
all their children but if they have a favored one, that's perfectly normal.

             They cannot help it for they are only human.

I know my father kept a special corner in his heart for this one child who   
has inherited not only his coloring and looks but also his vagabond blood.

This sister who never answered back when scolded, easily smiled and  
laughed and never failed to send him cute cards and funny letters.
He found it easy to understand her moods better than the rest of us.
She gave him fewer problems and was a very lovable and giving child.


Spanning this fragile and enduring relationship close to five decades now,
I am now verbalizing these thoughts that lay buried within me.

I want to tell him that I totally comprehend his feelings towards my  
youngest sister and why he was able to love and see her as the important
daughter.

I want to tell him that in spite of everything,
I truly appreciate the time, love, regard and effort he shared with us.

The beauty of it all is at this time I have come to realize
that life hasn't ended after my mom's death.

Rather, I am definitely doing my best to bridge the gap
by being there for him now that he is alone and lonely.

So for you Papa,
belated Happy Father's Day!
2


                                                              God took the strength of a mountain,
                                                      The majesty of a tree,
                                                      The warmth of a summer sun,
                                                      The calm of a quiet sea,
                                                      The generous soul of nature,
                                              The comforting arm of night,
                                              The wisdom of the ages,
                                              The power of the eagle’s flight,
                                              The joy of a morning in spring,
                                      The faith of a mustard seed,
                                      The patience of eternity,
                                      The depth of a family need,
                                      Then God combined these qualities,
                              When there was nothing more to add,
                              He knew His masterpiece was complete,
                      And so,
              He called it . . . Dad
3
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Acknowledgements:
[1] A Father Means . . . ~Anonymous
[2] Full Circle ~Marisol L. Verallo
[3] What Makes a Dad ~Anonymous
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A MorningStar Inspiration from Dawn Cove Abbey
Roadside assistance for your Journey through Life
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From the eBook, One!The Journey Home, the book  by Klaas Tuinman MA, ©2007-2017
A Father Means . . .