When the hurts received from others react to them, an amazingly curious
thing happens: they reveal what/who is most loved, prized or precious to
them: it will be the thing/person they turn against and take it out on.
As a child it might manifest as tearing legs, arms and head off most
favourite doll, or trashing a prize airplane model, or maiming or hurting
a beloved pet; in adulthood it might be destroying a loved tool or
appliance, attack & hurt the loved one, or push the loved one away harder
and harder, or run as far away as possible.
They attack, destroy, damage, maim, hurt or leave exactly those things or
people most precious & loved to them.
Only later, when all the demolition and carnage is done, do they take stock
and fully come to realize, not just what they've done, but what they've lost.
And this has been known for ages - there's a song about it that people have
known for years: "You always hurt the one you love".
And the pain will grow, and the hurt will grow, and the guilt will grow, and
the self-hatred, self-loathing and self-disgust And the pain will grow, and
the hurt will grow.
And rage will build. This is the point at which healing/recovery can begin -
because that is when people are ready - or can be.
Recover-Heal by loving yourself
Help is available here