Experiencing trust issues in relationships (and friendships)?

    Learn how to build trust and fill your relationship with passion,
    love, honesty and friendship

    How To Build Trust in Relationships
    By Susie and Otto Collins

    How do you build trust in relationships? We've found the secret is constant
    communication, one moment at a time. We both came from dead-end relationship
    from a state of vulnerability but with a strong desire for a different kind of relationship
    - a relationship filled with passion, love, honesty, friendship and most of all, partnership.

    Safety and trust are the twin sides of the same coin -both involve risk and both
    form the foundation of any great relationship. Safety is the feeling you get when
    you have trust. Trust means not only learning to trust others but it's learning to
    trust yourself -especially if you've been in less than desirable relationships in the past.

    From the beginning, we've practiced honesty and not hiding, no matter how painful
    the truth is. When you've been used to "sparing" the other person or not saying
    something because it might hurt their feelings or rock the boat, it's very difficult
    to open up and speak your truth. But we believe this is absolutely necessary to
    form a solid foundation of trust between two people.

    People often will trust a total stranger before trusting an intimate partner because that
    total stranger cannot hurt them like they imagine a partner can.
    Tony Robbins tells a great story about how we all trust every single day of our lives
    while driving our cars. The fact of the matter is -it takes a great deal of trust to drive
    down a road at 55 mph with another car coming the other way at 55 mph and only
    ne white line separating the two of you. The potential for danger is great -you don't
    know that other person; you don't know if they've been drinking; you don't know if
    they'll stay on their side of the road. That, my friend, takes a lot of trust.

    The challenge is to exhibit the same amount of trust in our relationships -knowing,
    believing, trusting that the other person is acting from their highest good.

    Two of the thought patterns that destroy trust in relationships are dwelling on past
    pain (whether with this person or others)and futurizing about potential negative
    events that haven't happened. Every time your mind starts to make up wild stories
    that involve abandonment, guilt, jealousy -those old tapes that just keep running
    and don't seem to stop -bring yourself back to the present moment and differentiate
    the past and the future the present. If you focus on "now" and what you want, you
    will build trust between you and your partner.

    When we have these negative feelings, we talk about them -not hiding them but
    being honest. We've found that when we acknowledge that the source of these
    feelings originated from past experiences, the situation is not threatening to the
    other person and we are able to let those negative thoughts go.

    If you place your attention on either worrying about past relationships or question
    where this relationship is going in the future, you lose the opportunity to be in the
    moment for yourself and your partner. You also lose the opportunity to build the
    trust that you need between the two of you. If you are in a relationship that has
    gone through some challenges, you can't heal the distance and pain between the
    two of you by dwelling on the past or fearing the future. You must look at where
    you are at the present time.

    Build trust one moment at a time -remember what Dan Millman said, "There are
    no ordinary moments."

    Also See: Trust Build
    Trust Start With You

    A Dawn Cove Abbey Support Resource: 2006
"Roadside Assistance" For Your Journey Through Life
- Dedicated to helping people return (and maintain) sanity and decency to life -
From the eBook: "One! The Journey hOMe", by Klaas Tuinman M.A.  © 2007-2019

Questions and comments welcomed.