The problem/Issue with rebound is:
  • It doesn't allow time for the grieving and healing processes to be complete.
  • It results in emotional confusion.
  • Frequently, the feelings for the old partner are simply transferred to the new one, giving   
    the illusion that we've found someone totally "different".
  • The reality is, we've found someone very much like our old love.
  • And very often the issues which drove us away from their previous partner are the very
    ones with which we eventually find ourselves grappling with again in the new relationship.

Rebound relationships serve a purpose:
  • To protect the heart from the devastation of losing someone very important.
  • They are like a big cushion
  • They protect us from the trauma of the fall which is experienced when a deep connection   
    is abruptly severed
  • They can serve as transition relationships to provide us with time for healing and    
    recovery; in that  way these relationships can be healthy, as long as people remain     
    aware of the purpose of this particular relationship, and take your time with your new
    partner (note: they can be, and often are, “transitory, which means short-term).

If they're not paying attention, however, a rebound relationship can be unhealthy.
Potential problems include:
  • Expecting the new partner to make up for the shortcomings of the old, for example, "Since
    my last partner cheated on me, I expect you to give me 100% reassurance of your loyalty
    24 hours a day."
  • Commitment hunger, for example, "My last partner dated me for three years without  
    making a commitment, so I'm expecting an engagement ring within six months or I'm out  
    of here."
  • Fear and anxiety that are problematic, for example, "After what my ex did to me, I have to
    constantly check to see that you're really there for me, even if that drives you crazy."
  • Skyrocket relationship: rebound relationships are often too fast-paced, due to the inner
    pressure of "making sure" that this one sticks – or works.
  • The biggest risk of a rebound is that it serves its purpose - and then the rebounder moves
    on, leaving someone else devastated (this is the transition, or transitory aspect).

Caution: If you're dating someone who's just left another relationship, be very aware know     
that you may have an Eastbound Train.
  • Don't allow the rebounding person to set the pace, as it will be too fast and may leave you
    in the dust.
  • Take your time, allow the relationship to develop slowly, and take good care of yourself
    emotionally(make sure you have a good support system).

A rebound relationship can work out, as long as you and your partner are able to develop a
genuinely loving and trusting bond, and that you maintain good communication each step of    
the way.
A large number of them, however, do not last beyond a year.

Generally, rebounds work best in basketball: not in human relationships

Klaas Tuinman MA
Deerfield, Yarmouth County, Nova Scotia, Canada  
2008-20

A Dawn Cove Abbey Support Resource
Rebound Relationship(s)
Dawn Cove Abbey
_______________________________
Roadside Assistance For Your Journey Through Life
- Dedicated to helping people return (and maintain) sanity and decency to life -
_______________________________________________________
From the eBook: "One! The Journey hOMe", by Klaas Tuinman M.A © 2007-2020

Questions and comments welcomed.
A Rebound Relationship is one where a person becomes seriously involved with a new  
person shortly following the ending of a previous relationship.

Rebound relationships are believed to be short-lived due to one partner's  (or both)   
emotional  instability and  desire to distract themselves from a painful break up. Those   
emerging from serious relationships are often advised to avoid serious dating until their
tumultuous emotions have calmed.

The problem/Issue with rebound is:
  • It doesn't allow time for the grieving and healing processes to be complete.
  • It results in emotional confusion.
  • Frequently, the feelings for the old partner are simply transferred to the new one, giving   
    the illusion that we've found someone totally "different".
  • The reality is, we've found someone very much like our old love.
  • And very often the issues which drove us away from their previous partner are the very
    ones with which we eventually find ourselves grappling with again in the new relationship.

Rebound relationships serve a purpose:
  • To protect the heart from the devastation of losing someone very important.
  • They are like a big cushion
  • They protect us from the trauma of the fall which is experienced when a deep connection   
    is abruptly severed
  • They can serve as transition relationships to provide us with time for healing and    
    recovery; in that  way these relationships can be healthy, as long as people remain     
    aware of the purpose of this particular relationship, and take your time with your new
    partner (note: they can be, and often are, “transitory, which means short-term).

The other reason (in many cases) is less noble:
It is also a form of "payback" to inflict intentional maximum hurt and pain on the "ex". In the
process there will be collateral "damage": causing devastating hurt on family members,    
children, friends etc, in the process - just to satisfy that "getting even" fury, and destroying
oneself self-esteem, and increasing self-loathing. And after the anger has settled down, and  
they survey the destruction they caused, then what? Where is the satisfaction in that? There   
will be shame, and lower self-esteem and many reparations to make. Happiness and self-image
will have taken a big beating.
There is an old saying, "before embarking on a journey of revenge, dig two graves; because  
both will "die" a little, inside.
A Rebound Relationship is one where     
a person becomes seriously involved with  
a new  person shortly following the ending  
of a previous relationship.

Rebound relationships are believed to  
be short-lived due to one partner's  (or
both)   emotional  instability and  desire to
distract themselves from a painful break  
up. Those emerging from serious
relationships are often advised to avoid
serious dating until their tumultuous
emotions have calmed (at least a year).