Self-Esteem and Self Worth – Exploring The Difference
How you feel about yourself is self-esteem.
- Self-esteem is your perception of how you are doing in the world. It may go up or down
depending upon what is happening to you: validation by others.
- Get an "A" on a test, for example, and you feel great, but if you fail you feel terrible.
- Self-esteem is based on being validated by other people, and other things, not on you.
Self Esteem depends on just a few basic factors (that always involve external things and people).
- The amount of achievements you have accomplished
- The weight that you place on those achievements
- The emotional support that you have around you.
These externally derived factors provide a sense of:
* Belonging * Uniqueness * Purpose * Hope
Self-esteem is changeable – it is always dependent on external factors – and other people:
|Geoffrey Dahmer and Charlie Manson “felt good” about what they had
done – that’s how they deny the value and worth of their victims.
Self Worth gives you rights as a human being:
- the right to food and shelter,
- the right to safety (including freedom from abuse and violence),
- the right to dignity and respect,
- the right to have your value and worth recognized and acknowledged,
- the right to be loved, and to love.
You may have come to not like yourself and believe that you don’t deserve anything good. Self-
esteem suffers while self-worth is forgotten because you rely on what others think of you to maintain
your self-esteem (external validation).
That turns control of you over to others. It gives up ownership of your worth and value, and allows
others to control and manipulate you instead: you will have given away your most precious
You must love and value yourself if you are to love others.
- You have to respect yourself and acknowledge your own self-worth (do not confuse this with
conceit or vanity – those are sick inner validations, too).
- You must take responsibility for your actions and their consequences, and ownership of your
value and worth.
- You must take care of yourself - so that you can love and help your “neighbor”.
This does not make you selfish. It makes you responsible.
Also read "The Awakening"
Self Esteem - Self Worth: the Difference
As one of the creations in the universe you have worth and value:
value and worth that remain yours throughout your life.
They are your most precious belongings and are yours to nourish and protect.
- You cannot lose your worth, but you can lose sight of it,
- You cannot give your worth away
- Your value and worth cannot be taken from you,
- You can forget your worth and value,
- Your validation comes from within.
Klaas Tuinman M.A.
Life Self-Empowerment Facilitation
at Dawn Cove Abbey
Comments and Questions are welcomed