Trust and Trust Issues:
Trust (or lack thereof) - or trust issues come honestly by the description of "the Relationship
* The five most difficult things in the world to come up against and overcome are, doubt,
mistrust, disbelief, suspicion and jealousy: Doubt and jealousy lead to disbelief, mistrust
and suspicion. Once those have arrived on the scene the relationship (or friendship) is in
serious trouble, for these things are among the hardest and most difficult things to overcome.
That's why trust issues in relationships are widely known as the number one relationship killers
What is trust? A short description
Trust is: letting others know your feelings, emotions and reactions, and having the confidence
in them to respect you and to not take advantage of you.
Trust is: the glue or cement of relationships that allows you to need others to fulfill yourself.
Trust is: opening yourself up (self-disclosure) to let others in on your background, problems,
concerns, and mistakes with the assurance that they will not ostracize you because of these
Trust is: the act of placing yourself in the vulnerable position of relying on others to treat you in a
fair, open, and honest way.
Trust is one of the most difficult things to build and acquire. And while it may take some time to
break that trust - if it is broken - it will take much, much longer to rebuild.
Truly, rebuilding trust a second time, after it has been broken is a monumental task - and takes a
long time. This is mainly because in offering trust, we make ourselves vulnerable - and once the
vulnerability has been violated, we "play it much safer" the second time around.
People don't trust, or have trouble developing trust, if they have: Experienced a great deal of
emotional and/or physical abuse and/or neglect. Been emotionally hurt in the past and are not
willing to risk getting hurt in the future.
All of the above are essential components to Trust, and Building Trust.
|Trust Issues in Relationships: The Relationship Killer
Building Trust: Trust and Trusting
One of the first steps is to stop always looking for, and assuming there are, "hidden agendas and
motives" on everyone else's part - that simply isn't so.
That means to stop being suspicious all the time, of everyone - that simply isn't fair - and makes it
difficult, if not impossible for you to learn to trust, and others to actually "see" you as an authentic,
Starting point for rebuilding trust. Ask yourself:
Why do I lack trust in the persons, groups, or institutions listed above?
What beliefs do I hold that are behind my lack of trust in the
persons, groups, or institutions listed in above?
Why can't I refute my Irrational Belief and replace with a positive one?
Why can't I affirm new personal beliefs?
What does my experience tell me about changes I need to make
to develop my ability to trust?
What are the remaining blocks to developing my sense of trust?
What am I willing to do to continue developing my sense of trust?
Revisions, additions and expansion are coming - please come back soon.
|Do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of
fatigue and loneliness. ~The Desiderata~
Also read "The Awakening"
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada
(1985 – rev: 2009/2020)
Klaas Tuinman M.A.
Life Self-Empowerment Facilitation
at Dawn Cove Abbey
Comments and Questions are welcomed