|Some kids don’ t have a chance -
Kelsey Briggs, was one of them
For her story see the YouTube video
|So part of any healing journey is to reconnect with that child inside: the inner child.
And although healing occurs in all those who actively engage in that journey - there
will always be remnants and memories. Dysfunction too often is generational: it is
passed on from one generation to another. The only way to change it is to break that
cycle. The best way to do so is to begin one's own recovery and healing, and then focus
on children in one's life. This cannot be emphasized too much: I suggest you
read Prayer For The Children
Do you grapple with low self confidence? Or worse still, do you feel as if you are going
crazy? If you answer in yes for either of these questions then re-think the circumstances
that have triggered those feelings. Your partner might have indulged in constant
criticism or spoken something that has hurt deeply. Or maybe it started early in
your childhood. Or your spouse might have closely monitored your movements
and has isolated you, socially and financially.
Emotional abuse is so vast and varied that it is impossible to compile a list. Abusers
indulge in such acts in an effort to control. So, in short, if your spouse indulges in
dominating acts that depress you, then, it is emotional abuse. If you are trapped in
such an abusive relationship, take all measures to protect yourself. Emotional
abuse is cruelty. Some acts of emotional abuse are also illegal. It causes more
harm than physical violence. Not all the Violence is physical
- read Invisible Violence
|Recovery, Overcoming, Healing and bringing Closure are possible at any time.
However, in most cases there are not always easy, simple solutions or 'quick-fixes';
- the journey will often be a difficult challenge with much inner work and time required.
|LOVE is caring about the freedom of the other.
If parents really care about their child,
they want him or her to be free to enjoy life.
|If you are ready to make the change / transition to begin your spiritual or healing
journey (or have already begun) and want to do so in the company of others
going in the same direction, why not write or email me? I may be able to
exchange or share experience for mutual benefit and growth.
I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road
and that it brings awakening and healing to you.
"Roadside Assistance" For Your Journey Through Life
- Dedicated to helping people return (and maintain)
sanity and decency to life -
From the eBook: "One! The Journey hOMe", by Klaas Tuinman M.A © 2007-2019
Questions and comments welcomed.
|People who really want to heal, will find a way;
those who aren't ready yet, will find an excuse.
Some of the illustrations on this page are very graphic depictions. Abuse is not
pleasant. Victims (children) growing up in dysfunctional families/relationships
where violence and abuse occur, develop coping, or survival strategies that result
in "roles": natural reactions to severe dysfunction. The most severely impacted
victim is the "The Lost Child".
|Child, Domestic and Family Abuse and Violence aren't "only" physical: the
major impact is emotional and mental - although the physical itself is already
bad enough (even leading to death in many cases). Some of the forms of violence
and abuse in our communities and culture are so common that they appear to be
"normal" and which people take to be a "part of life". They are not "normal" parts
of healthy, functional lives. They are a blight of epidemic proportions, and cause
long-lasting psychic devastation in lives.
They are the results (consequences) of the psychosis called "alcoholic"
or "dysfunctional families". The various forms of abuse and violence
include: Domestic, Family, Relationship, Child, Bullying, Teen (Dating), Gender,
Elder & Racial violence and abuse. It also includes Rape and Incest, Child
Trafficking, Child Pornography, and "White Slavery" (Human Trafficking).
|Abuse & Violence are widespread, pervasive
and often subtle. People have come to regard
as "normal". But violence is violence, and
abuse is abuse - and the people at the
receiving end are victims. Below you will find
a series of graphics to illustrate the different
kinds of abuse and violence: included are
"equality & nurture" graphics to show you the
If you discovered this page by "accident"
- please consider that there is a reason for
everything (there are no "coincidences) - that
this is just what you needed. In order to
familiarize yourself with just how many
things actually make-up violence or abuse,
I present the information and graphics below.
|Sometimes a picture says a thousand words – sometimes it can’t convey the entire message.
Below, you will find both pictures – and words about a serious reality that much of the world
around us is in denial about. The pictures pull no punches - they are graphic - this is to break
through the denial some people experience about this topic - denial leads to enabling, and
enabling perpetuates it all.
The stories of the consequences of what these pictures show are so huge, so vital, and
so devastating, that one page cannot convey it all. The site is dedicated to providing
knowledge and information to both stop this, and how to heal from it if you are a victim.
You will find links to other pages that provide more information, profiles and details.
The stories of the consequences of what these pictures show are so huge, so vital, and so
devastating, that one page cannot convey it all.
Things such as bodily harm; facial and other Abuse & Violence: disfigurement; lost, or
ruined eyesight and hearing; miscarriages; and in the extreme, death. These horrifying
consequences are terribly real for thousands. This phenomenon and the cycle it operates
under must be broken or stopped. But there are other grave consequences as well. These
are the debilitating mental, psychic and emotional devastation that occur.
Fear and shame are among the minor ones. In more severe circumstances of repeatedly
being beaten, or through rape and/or incest the effects not only destroy self-worth,
self-confidence, they can result in a total loss of identity (knowing who you are):
This is called Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), or Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD).
Associated disorders are: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Dissociative Disorder.
|Children (kids) learn from their parents (and
the environment the watch, observe and
experience their parents doing - are the things
that "tell" the children "how life is"; what's
okay; what's acceptable, etc. After all, that's
where we learned (obtained) our basic notions
about life - and those go (went) very deep!
Thus, the dysfunctional pattern is usually repeated
by adult children of dysfunctional (alcoholic)
families: a cycle - unless they become
survivors, adopt their parents' patterns:
a Culture of Dysfunction.
Children who have grown-up in dysfunctional
families share these traits: fear, shame and
anger/rage. Each of us is a product of our past:
from childhood on, along with all the
subsequent things we experienced, including
the recent past.
The dysfunctional family is maladaptive and
deviant: sick. It is an extreme on the scale of
possible realities - it is time to break your cycle
now. Get a life - empower yourself and
develop your human potential.
|NOTE: This page, like most pages on the site, describes and explains behaviours
and circumstances. It can bring a sense of relief. Understanding is only the
first step - it is not the recovery process itself!
The information on this page describes 'extremes' of behaviour. Very few people
ever display all of them - or experience all of them. The good news is that although
it seems difficult, anyone can dig down deep past set behaviours and change their
core responses. If you are ready to make the change / transition to begin your
healing journey, I can help. Please email without obligation (and strictly confidential)
To contact me, click/tap HERE or you can find and contact me on Facebook
Children are not commodities. Child trafficking is child abuse. Children are bought
and sold around the world, trafficked into, within and out of many countries, for
a multitude of reasons. It is a complex child can find themselves a victim of
trafficking whatever their nationality or immigration status. This exploitation of
children can and does happen anywhere. They are trafficked for many different types
of exploitation. This includes, but is not limited to: *sexual exploitation *labour
exploitation – such as in cooking and cleaning in restaurants. * domestic servitude
* enforced criminal activity – such as street crime, fraud or illegal cannabis cultivation,
* illegal adoption, * underage, servile or forced marriage, *benefit fraud.
Although many people are being trafficked, children are the biggest victims of
trafficking: forced into slavery, recruited as child soldiers or sold into prostitution.
Girls and boys as young as six are taken from desperately poor homes and placed
as domestic workers with strangers in the city. In return, they are promised an
education. In reality, they are often beaten, fed on leftovers, forced to work long
hours and forbidden to go to school.
Other children are sent instead to work in quarries or plantations, in West African
states. Some are even trafficked for ritual purposes and end up dead. However
it manifests itself, child trafficking is child abuse. It must stop – now.
This is primarily sexual slavery.
There is a world-wide trade of
this form of violence going on.
Young girls and women are
enticed or simply abducted and
transported to some other place
to be put into “service”. Basically,
it is forced prostitution.
|associated with sex. In general, the nature
of slavery means that the slave is de facto
available for sex, and ordinary social
conventions and legal protections that
would otherwise constrain an owner's
actions are not effective.
|How to counter it all?
1. Be the example
Children mimic what they see and hear.
They learn how to become a man
or woman based on your example.
Be an example to other adults, too
3. Stand up against it
|Child abuse is wrong-
you can help by speaking out.
See Rage Against Child Abuse
This is a silent Epidemic of abuse which occurs because too
many cases go unreported. Elder abuse involves physical
and/or emotional mistreatment which degrades, coerces,
manipulates or exploits an elderly person and/or their
resources. It includes: physical, emotional, financial and
Older people are afraid to speak up because they know that
if they speak up they could end up in a nursing home or
with a guardian taking over their lives. I would be petrified
also to speak up considering what I've seen happen to the
ones that do speak up . . . This a worse type of abuse, and
Elders often face abuse at home by an abusive relative or
caregiver or face guardian abuse by losing their last
vestige of independence where you don't even get to
choose where you want to live or whom you want to
take care of you and your money is not considered
your money any longer and you lose the right to choose.
1 in 20 elders are victims of violence and abuse.
Family members cause more than half of all reported abuse
in later life. Shame, dependence on the abuser, fear of
retribution, and isolation from the community are
significant obstacles that discourage elders
from reporting these crimes.
TYPES OF Elder ABUSE
Violence and abuse do massive mental
and emotional damage, as well as physical.
In really bad cases, it brutalizes people (they
lose their humanity, and cower in fear): at best
they grow up and/or become co-dependent.
Knowing what violence/abuse are, and what
causes it, still does not help turn it round: help
Abuse severely impacts children's development.
The "Kidsource" Website is an excellent
resource for that - CLICK to discover how
violence affects kids.
|Abuse is a vast topic, and it's consequences and ramifications are immense
There are many forms of abuse; only some of them are listed and discussed here.
|Take a Stand against a
- Child Pornography.
Pornography, just click
below on the word "stop",
and it will take you
directly to the website
prepared for it.
|YOU can help stop the cycle.
If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.
Perhaps you need something to help you make it through the day
Why not see the Motivate-Encourage Page on this site
to find words that will help you?
|Physical wounds heal and disappear over time; Emotional,
Mental and Spiritual damage and scarring do not.
Child, Domestic and Family Abuse and Violence
a brief foray into the Dark Side of Dysfunction