Codependent Traits

    Traits, Characteristics, Symptoms & Signs of Codependency - Codependent people

    Codependent people:
    * develop behaviors that help them deny, ignore, or avoid difficult emotions.
    * engage in sick, one-sided unconditional love
    * detach themselves: don’t talk - don’t touch - don’t confront - don’t feel - don’t trust.
    *adopt "roles"
    * continually try and "earn" being liked, needed or accepted through their actions (looking
    for "approval")
    *cannot tell the difference between "helping" someone, and "doing it for them".
    *Focus attention and energy on the family member who is ill or addicted - everything is
    done for them!
    *Codependents have low self esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make
    them feel better.
    *Codependents find it hard to “be themselves.”
    *Codependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to any individual
    in need.
    *When the care-taking becomes compulsive, the codependent feels choiceless and helpless
    in the relationship, but is unable to break away from the cycle of behavior that causes it.
    *Co-dependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in
    their love and friendship relationships.
    *Codependents have a tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people
    they can pity and rescue.
    *Codependents have a fear of intimacy of any kind.
    *Codependents have a higher likelihood of suffering from depression and anxiety.
As long as you keep thinking that it is not your fault (how you feel now); that something
else must change, you will continue to feel helpless and the victim, you will be
totally at the mercy of your environment.
Fear is at the core of co-dependency.
It can motivate us to control situations or neglect ourselves.

Many of us have been afraid for so long that we don't label our feelings fear.
We're used to feeling upset and anxious. It feels normal.

Peace and serenity may be uncomfortable.
At one time, fear may have been appropriate and useful.
We may have relied on fear to protect ourselves,
much the way soldiers in a war rely on fear to help them survive.
But now, in recovery, we're living life differently.

It's time to thank our old fears for helping us survive, then wave good-bye to them.
Welcome peace, trust, acceptance, and safety.
We don't need that much fear anymore.
We can listen to our healthy fears, and let go of the rest.

We can create a feeling of safety for ourselves, now.
We are safe, now.
We've made a commitment to take care of ourselves.
We can trust and love ourselves.

God, help me let go of my need to be afraid.
Replace it with a need to be at peace.
Help me listen to my healthy fears and relinquish the rest.
-Unknown  (Also see Let Go Of Fear)

For further reading I suggest the article on the Dependent Personality.

         Codependency takes many forms, and exists in different degrees.

You may find it of interest to read a brief blog excerpt on "how to please your man/woman":
it will provide you with more food for thought, plus an opportunity to respond: click/tap
to visit. Then take this following Quiz.
    No matter how much you despair of healing: recovery - healing and becoming a true survivor is
    possible at any time.

    "Each night I die to old habits and to negative thinking and actions that do not serve me any more;
    each morning I am resurrected into new life, again and again – if I so choose."
    (adapted   from our Sanctuary's prayers).
    *Codependents have an unhealthy dependence
    on relationships. The codependent will do
    anything to hold on to a relationship - to avoid
    the feeling of abandonment.
    *Codependents have an extreme need for
    approval and recognition (and become hurt
    when people don’t recognize their efforts).
    *Codependents have a strong, but misplaced,
    sense of guilt  (self-blame) when asserting
    themselves; they remain passive.
    *Codependents tend to form "passive-
    aggressive" personalities (suppressed anger)
    *Codependents have a lack of trust in self and/
    or others.
    *Codependents fear, are unable to engage in,
    emotional intimacy
    *Codependents fear being abandoned or
    If you found this page helpful and know someone else who could benefit from it,
    please tell them.

    If you are ready to make the change / transition to begin your spiritual or healing
    journey (or have already begun) and want to do so in the company of others going
    in the same direction, why not write or email us? We may be able to exchange or
    share experience for mutual benefit and growth.

    I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road
    and that it brings awakening  and healing to you.
Dawn Cove Abbey
"Roadside Assistance" For Your Journey Through Life
- Dedicated to helping people return (and maintain) sanity and decency to life -
From the eBook: "One! The Journey hOMe", by Klaas Tuinman M.A © 2007-2019

Questions and comments welcomed.