|Some kids don’ thave a chance -
was one of them
For her story see the
|- New Beginning Online -
Information Resources, and other
supports for Adult Children of
EMPOWERMENT CONSULTING & MENTORING:
HEALING YOUR WOUNDED INNER LOST CHILD
|Some of the illustrations on this page are very graphic depictions.
Abuse is not pleasant
So part of any healing journey is to reconnect with that child inside: the inner child.
And although healing occurs in all those who actively engage in that journey - there
will always be remnants and memories.
Dysfunction too often is generational: it is passed on from one generation to another.
The only way to change it is to break that cycle. The best way to do so is to begin
one's own recovery and healing, and then focus on children in one's life.
This cannot be emphasized too much: I suggest you read Prayer For The Children
|Recovery, Overcoming, Healing and bringing Closure are possible at any time.
However, in most cases there are not always easy, simple solutions or 'quick-fixes';
- the journey will often be a difficult challenge with much inner work and time required.
|LOVE is caring about the freedom of the other.
If parents really care about their child,
they want him or her to be free to enjoy life.
If you are ready to make the change / transition to begin your spiritual or healing journey (or have
already begun) and want to do so in the company of others going in the same direction, why not
write or email me? I may be able to exchange or share experience for mutual benefit and growth.
I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road
and that it brings awakening and healing to you.
|Dawn Cove Abbey
Roadside Assistance For Your Journey Through Life
- Dedicated to helping people return (and maintain) sanity and decency to life -
From the eBook: "One! The Journey hOMe", by Klaas Tuinman MA, © 2007-2017
Questions and comments welcomed.
|People who really want to heal, will find a way;
those who aren't ready yet, will find an excuse.
Child, Domestic and Family Abuse and Violence aren't "only" physical: the major impact is
emotional and mental - although the physical itself is already bad enough (even leading
to death in many cases).
Some of the forms of violence and abuse in our communities and culture are so common
that they appear to be "normal" and which people take to be a "part of life".
They are not "normal" parts of healthy, functional lives. They are a blight of epidemic
proportions, and cause long-lasting psychic devastation in lives.
They are the results (consequences) of the psychosis called "alcoholic" or
The various forms of abuse and violence include: Domestic, Family, Relationship, Child,
Bullying, Teen (Dating), Gender, Elder & Racial violence and abuse.
It also includes Rape and Incest, Child Trafficking, Child Pornography, and "White Slavery"
Victims (children) growing up in dysfunctional families/relationships where violence
and abuse occur, develop coping, or survival strategies that result in "roles": natural
reactions to severe dysfunction.
The most severe victim is the "The Lost Child".
Abuse & Violence are widespread, pervasive and often subtle.
people have come to regard as "normal".
But violence is violence, and abuse is abuse - and the people at
the receiving end are victims. Below you will find a series of
graphics to illustrate the different kinds of abuse and violence:
included are "equality & nurture" graphics to show you the
If you discovered this page by "accident" - please consider that there
is a reason for everything (there are no "coincidences) - that this is
just what you needed. In order to familiarize yourself with just how
many things actually make-up violence or abuse, we present the
information and graphics below.
|Adult Children including the
Lost Child, become
Sometimes a picture says a thousand words – sometimes it can’t convey the entire message.
Below, you will find both pictures – and words about a serious reality that much of the world around us is in
denial about. The pictures pull no punches - they are graphic - this is to break through the denial some people
experience about this topic - denial leads to enabling, and enabling perpetuates it all.
The stories of the consequences of what these pictures show are so huge, so vital, and so devastating, that one
page cannot convey it all.
The site is dedicated to providing knowledge and information to both stop this, and how to heal from it if you
are a victim.
You will find links to other pages that provide more information, profiles and details
|Parental Alienation is a
form of child abuse. Help
. Click HERE
Also see HERE
The stories of the consequences of what these pictures show are so huge, so
vital, and so devastation that usually comes to mind first.
Things such as bodily harm; facial and other Abuse & Violence: disfigurement;
lost, or ruined eyesight and hearing; miscarriages; and in the extreme, death.
These horrifying consequences are terribly real for thousands. This phenomenon
and the cycle it operates under must be broken or stopped.
But there are other grave consequences as well. These are the debilitating
mental, psychic and emotional devastation that occur.
Fear and shame are among the minor ones. In more severe circumstances of
repeatedly being beaten, or through rape and/or incest the effects not only
destroy self-worth, self-confidence, they can result in a total loss of identity
(knowing who you are):
This is called Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), or Multiple Personality
Associated disorders are: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Dissociative
Children (kids) learn from their parents (and the environment the
parenting takes place in - the home)! The things children see, hear,
watch, observe and experience their parents doing - are the things that
"tell" the children "how life is"; what's okay; what's acceptable, etc. After
all, that's where we learned (obtained) our basic notions about life - and
those go (went) very deep!
Thus, the dysfunctional pattern is usually repeated by adult children of
dysfunctional (alcoholic) families: a cycle - unless they become survivors,
adopt their parents' patterns: a Culture of Dysfunction.
Children who have grown-up in dysfunctional families share these traits:
fear, shame and anger/rage.
Each of us is a product of our past: from childhood on, along with all the
subsequent things we experienced, including the recent past. The
dysfunctional family is maladaptive and deviant: sick. It is an extreme on
the scale of possible realities - it is time to break your cycle now. Get a
life - empower yourself and develop your human potential.
Do you grapple with low self confidence?
If you answer in yes for either of these questions then re-think the circumstances that have triggered those
Your partner might have indulged in constant criticism or spoken something that has hurt deeply. Or
maybe it started early in your childhood.
Or your spouse might have closely monitored your movements and has isolated you, socially and financially.
Emotional abuse is so vast and varied that it is impossible to compile a list.
Abusers indulge in such acts in an effort to control.
So, in short, if your spouse indulges in dominating acts that depress you, then, it is emotional abuse. If you
are trapped in such an abusive relationship, take all measures to protect yourself.
Emotional abuse is cruelty.
Some acts of emotional abuse are also illegal.
It causes more harm than physical violence.
Not all the Violence is physical - read Invisible Violence
NOTE: This page, like most pages on the site, describes and explains behaviours and circumstances. it can
bring a sense of relief. Understanding is only the first step - it is not the recovery process itself!
The information on this page describes 'extremes' of behaviour. Very few people ever display all of them - or
experience all of them.
The good news is that although it seems difficult, anyone can dig down deep past set behaviours and change
their core responses. If you are ready to make the change / transition to begin your healing journey, we can
help. Please email without obligation (and strictly confidential) To contact me, click/tap HERE
Children are not commodities. Child trafficking is child abuse
Children are bought and sold around the world, trafficked into,
within and out of many countries, for a multitude of reasons. It is a complex child can find themselves a
victim of trafficking whatever their nationality or immigration status. This exploitation of children can
and does happen anywhere.
Why are children trafficked?
Children and young people are trafficked into, within and out their countries for many different types of
This includes, but is not limited to:
•labour exploitation – such as in cooking and cleaning in restaurants
•enforced criminal activity – such as street crime, fraud or illegal cannabis cultivation
•underage, servile or forced marriage
Although many people are being trafficked, children are the biggest victims of trafficking: forced into
slavery, recruited as child soldiers or sold into prostitution.
Girls and boys as young as six are taken from desperately poor homes and placed as domestic workers
with strangers in the city.
In return, they are promised an education. In reality, they are often beaten, fed on leftovers, forced to
work long hours and forbidden to go to school.
Other children are sent instead to work in quarries or plantations, in West African states.
Some are even trafficked for ritual purposes and end up dead.
However it manifests itself, child trafficking is child abuse.
It must stop – now.
|Human Trafficking (White Slavery):
This is primarily sexual slavery.
There is a world-wide trade of
this form of violence going on.
Young girls and women are enticed
or simply abducted and transported
to some other place to be put into
“service”. Basically, it is forced
In white slavery, ritual slavery is commonly
associated with sex.
In general, the nature of slavery means that
the slave is de facto available for sex, and
ordinary social conventions and legal
protections that would otherwise constrain
an owner's actions are not effective.
How to counter it?
1. Be the example
Children mimic what they see and
They learn how to become a man
or woman based on your example.
Be an example to other adults, too
3. Stand up against it
This is a silent Epidemic of abuse which occurs because too
many cases go unreported. Elder abuse involves physical and/or
emotional mistreatment which degrades, coerces, manipulates or
exploits an elderly person and/or their resources. It includes:
physical, emotional, financial and neglect issues.
Verbal abuse is another;
Older people are afraid to speak up because they know that if they
speak up they could end up in a nursing home or with a guardian
taking I've seen happen to the ones that do speak up . . . This
situation where most elders prefer to remain silent rather than face
a worse type of abuse is intolerable.
Elders often face abuse at home by an abusive relative or caregiver
or face guardian abuse by losing their last vestige of independence
where you don't even get to choose where you want to live or whom
you want to take care of you and your money is not considered your
money any longer and you lose the right to choose.
1 in 20 elders are victims of violence and abuse.
Family members cause more than half of all reported abuse in later
life. Shame, dependence on the abuser, fear of retribution, and
isolation from the community are significant obstacles that discourage
elders from reporting these crimes.
TYPES OF Elder ABUSE
Violence and abuse do massive mental and emotional
damage, as well as physical.
In really bad cases, it brutalizes people (they lose their
humanity, and cower in fear): at best they grow up
and/or become co-dependent.
Knowing what violence/abuse are, and what causes it,
still does not help turn it round: help is available.
Abuse severely impacts children's development
The "Kidsource" Website is an excellent resource for
that - CLICK to discover how violence affects kids.
|Abuse is a vast topic, and it's consequences and ramifications are immense
There are many forms of abuse; only some of them are listed and discussed here.
|Take a Stand against a
- Child Pornography.
Pornography, just click
below on the word "stop",
and it will take you directly
to the website prepared
|YOU can help stop the cycle.
If you don't know how - help in the form of Coaching/Mentoring is available
here: online & in-person
If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.
Perhaps you need something to help you make it through the day
Why not see the Motivate-Encourage Page on this site
to find words that will help you?
|Physical wounds heal and disappear over time;
Emotional, Mental and Spiritual damage and scarring do not.
|A Walk on the Dark, Negative side of Life
Child, Domestic and Family Abuse and Violence