From something sad . . . . something wonderful and good. . .
Growing older can be very scary, and very exciting.
However, for my grandmother it was very scary.
She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and it progressed rapidly. She would swear at the men
on the TV commercials and soon she couldn't be left alone. It was very sad to see her
deteriorate. It was very hard for our family to watch but it was even harder for my
grandfather to watch. She was soon just a vegetable and had to have everything done
Taking care of my grandmother was no small task. She had to be lifted in and out of bed
to her wheelchair or to her chair in the living room. She had to be spoon fed, and she had
to be changed every time she went to the bathroom.
For as long as I can remember this was that state my grandmother was in. She progressed
very quickly from talking and rambling odd things to being a vegetable. However, my
grandfather never gave up hope.
On Wednesdays and Saturdays my grandfather would go out for coffee with his friends
and he didn't like leaving her alone, so either my sister or I would watch her. She would
have been fine alone, but I think that he felt guilty leaving her alone, even though no one
would have thought it were wrong to be gone for a couple of hours.
Everyday when my grandfather would come home from coffee he would hug my grand-
mother and tell her how much he loves and tell her how beautiful she was. He would talk
to her like a normal person. He never once treated her like she wasn't here; her spirit was
still very much alive inside him.
Unfortunately taking care of her was taking a large toll on him. He was falling in parking
lots and got arthritis in his back and it was hard for him to walk and he kept getting
infections in his legs. He still tried to lead a normal life and refused to take help from
anyone. He was still driving and running errands, and really shouldn’t have been.
Well, one day on the way home from the grocery store he fell asleep at the wheel and ran
into a tree in his yard. He was luckily unhurt, but totalled his car and he no longer has his
license. It was very hard for him because he lost some of his independence, but it was
for the best.
Things for him just kept getting worse and worse. We finally convinced him to move into an
apartment complex because he could no longer use the stairs in his house. My sister,and I
have been there as much as we can every step of the way. Someone visits him at least
once a day, we take him grocery shopping, and we call him to make sure he is doing ok.
He never gave up hope though, he would always say that he thinks my grandmother is
getting better, he thinks she is starting to talk more today, and the doctor told him that
feeding her fruit would help her get better, so for every meal he incorporated fruit for her.
He is the most loving man that you could ever have the privilege to meet.
My grandmother died on September 4, 2004 at about 10:30. She has been gone spiritually
from our lives for a while, so losing her was better because she was suffering, but seeing
the pain my grandfather is in is like a knife ripping through my heart. He told me that he
knows it is better that she is gone, but it is just such a big chunk missing from his life.
My grandfather doesn't show much emotion, he doesn't say “I love you” on the phone; he
does hug. I know he loves all of us very much, but he is just one of those people who
doesn't say it.
I went to visit him the day after the funeral and he was talking about my grandmother and
started crying. I have never seen him show emotion like that before. And I have never in
my life wanted to take the pain away from someone so badly.
We have been visiting him everyday and trying to keep his spirits up, and I know time is
the only thing that will help, but he is the kindest man on earth and it doesn't seem fair that
he should feel that kind of pain.
But he is truly my hero, he truly practiced a random act of kindness every single hour of
every single day and never once felt sorry for himself, never once asked "why me?". He
just did what he did, because he loved my grandmother so much, and he made a promise
to her, in sickness and in health till death do us part. 1
|Let Light continue to grow in your life,
and may you live the Spirit of Christmas
throughout the year. Klaas+
|Let this be your prayer. . .
God, make me an instrument of Your peace;
* where there is hatred, let me sow love;
* where there is injury, pardon;
* where there is doubt, faith;
* where there is despair, hope;
* where there is darkness, light;
* and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Creator,
* grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
* to be understood, as to understand;
* to be loved, as to love;
* for it is in giving that we receive,
- it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
- and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
If you have not love; then in the words of
my young friends, “it sucks to be you”.
Love is long suffering,
love is kind,
it is not jealous,
love does not boast,
it is not inflated.
There are. . .
faith, hope, and love. . .
. . . but the greatest of these is love. 3
|"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight.
Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster,
and do it with no thought of any reward.
Your life will never be the same again." 4
"Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what
might have been, and look at what can be." 5
My Grandfather: UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
1] My Grandfather - Unconditional Love
~By: Laura Kottsick
2] ~Prayer of Saint Francis
3] (1 Corinthians 13)
4] ~Og Mandino
5] ~Marsha Petrie Sue
From Dawn Cove Abbey
Roadside Assistance For Your Journey Through Life
From the eBook: "One! The Journey hOMe", by Klaas Tuinman MA, © 2007-2020