There comes a time in your life when you finally get it . . .

When in the midst of all your fears and insanity
you stop dead in your tracks

Enough!

Enough fighting and crying
or struggling to hold on.

And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside,
you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears
and through a mantle of wet lashes
you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting
for something to change
or for happiness, safety and security
to come galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that
you are (he is) not Prince Charming and
you are (she is) not Cinderella
and that in the real world
there aren't always fairy tale endings
(or beginnings for that matter)
and that any guarantee of
"happily ever after"
must begin with you . . .
and that too many choices
become no choice at all
    - the choice is always
yours.

and in the process
a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect
and that not everyone will always love,
appreciate or approve
of who or what you are . . .
and that's OK
- they are entitled
to their own views and opinions.

And you learn the importance
of loving and championing yourself
without being narcissistic
and in the process
a sense of new-found confidence
is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people
for the things they did to you
(or didn't do for you)

and you learn
that the only thing you can really count on
is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean
or mean what they say
(and that this includes you);

and that not everyone will always be there for you
and that it's not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own
and to take care of yourself
 and in the process
a sense of safety and security
is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers
and you begin to accept others, and yourself, as they are
and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties,
as well as your own,
and in the process a sense of peace and contentment
is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself,
and the world around you,
is a result of all the messages and opinions
that have been ingrained into your psyche.

This is your epiphany; a bona fide transformation

And you begin to sift through all the dogma you've been fed about
how you should behave,
how you should look and
how much you should weigh
what you should wear and
where you should shop and
what you should drive how and
where you should live and
what you should do for a living,
    who you should sleep with,
    who you should marry and
what you should expect of a marriage,
the importance of having and raising children
or what you owe your parents,
and all the other
“shoulds”.

                    You learn to open up to new worlds
            and different points of view.

            And you begin reassessing
            and redefining
    who you are;
what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between
            wanting
        and needing . . .

and you begin to discard the doctrines
and values you've outgrown,
or should never have bought into
to begin with,
and in the process you learn to connect with your inner self
and to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive;
that it isn’t about the money, or the things,
and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing,
and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as
honesty, loyalty, commitment and integrity
are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era
but the mortar that holds together the foundation
upon which you must build a life;
not because “they” say so,
but because you
know so.

You learn that you don't know everything;
it's not your job to save the world
and that you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt
and responsibility

and the importance of setting boundaries
and learning to say
NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear
is the one you choose to carry
and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love,
and finally accept that you
are lovable . . .

Romantic love and familial love;
how to stop running from it
    and pushing it away,
    how to love,
    how to accept love,
            how much to give in love,
            when to stop giving
                    when it’s not a two-way street;
                            and when to walk away.

You learn not to project your needs
or your feelings
onto a relationship.

You learn that you will not be more beautiful,
more intelligent,
more lovable
or important
because of the man on your arm
- or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are
and not as you would have them be.

You stop trying to control people,
situations
and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change
so it is with love . . .

and you learn that you don't have the right
to demand love on your terms
just to make you happy.

And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. . .
that real love, money and things are a great combination;
and that money and things without love leads to lives
which keep the state-appointed psychiatrists wealthy.

You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact
that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10,
or look like those muscle men in the magazines,
and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head
and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over
and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK . . .
and that it is your right to want things
and to ask for the things that you want . . .

and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated
with love, kindness,
sensitivity, loyalty,
consideration and respect
and you won't settle for less;
for you have
worth,
and you finally stop running from yourself.
and in the process begin to experience
a sense of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple.
Your dissociation with it stops and you reconnect:
it’s not something external; neither
a commodity to be traded, nor an object to be demeaned;
either by others or by you.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect,
and allow nothing less than respect for it from anyone.

You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you
to glorify you with hir* touch. . .  
    and in the process,
you internalize the
meaning of self-respect.

You begin eating a balanced diet,
drinking more water
and taking more time to exercise.

You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit
and creates doubt, confusion and fear.

So you take more time to rest.

And, just as food fuels the body,
laughter fuels our soul.
So you make, and take, more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part,
in life you get what you believe you deserve . . .
and that much of life
truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving
 is worth working for;
that anything worth having
    is worth waiting for,
and that
wishing for something to happen, or making it happen
is different from creating the conditions for
allowing it to happen,
and that if you’re not where, or with whom you want to be,
    or well underway,
you don’t want it badly enough.

More importantly,
you learn that in order to achieve success
you need direction,
discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone
and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear
is the great robber baron of all time . . .  
            FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears
and that to give in to fear
is to give away the right
to live life on your terms;

always remembering that
while you can be you and do anything you want,
that those who do
everything they want,
can do so only by ignoring the effects on others.

And you learn to fight for your life
and not to squander it
living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair,
you don't always get what you think you deserve
and that sometimes bad things
happen to unsuspecting, good people.

On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.

You learn that God isn't punishing you
or failing to answer your prayers.

It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger,
envy and resentment
must be understood and redirected
or they will suffocate the life out of you
and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong
and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful
and to take comfort
in many of the simple things
we take for granted;
    things that millions of people
    upon the earth can only dream about:
            a full refrigerator,
            clean running water,
            a soft warm bed,
            a long hot shower.
                    freedom of choice;
                            freedom.

            Slowly, you give yourself permission
            to begin taking responsibility
    for yourself by yourself
    and you make yourself a promise
to never betray yourself
and to never ever settle for less
than your heart's desire.

You accept that you can’t do it all,
no matter what,
and you stop operating on impulse,
and cease chasing never-satisfying novelties;

for you finally get the difference between
settling for the deceptive safety
of the soul-numbing familiar,
and choosing the reassurance of the inexpressible
comfort of the tried-and-true;
complete with its natural human foibles.

You hang a wind chime outside your window
so you can listen to the wind.

And you make it a point to keep smiling,
to keep trusting,
and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart
and with God by your side
you take a stand,
you take a deep breath
and you begin to design
the life you want to live
as best as you can.

Celebrate your life! 1
And always remember (fix it in your mind):
You do not need fixing, for you are not broken.  
Your sense of self, your self perception, was shattered
and fractured and broken into pieces,
not your True Self.
Comes A Time - Your Awakening  
Acknowledgements:
[1] Comes A Time - Your Awakening (V1)
- selection from, "One! The Journey hOMe", the eBook by Klaas Tuinman MA, ©2007-17
* Hir = his/her]
MorningStar Inspirations
from Dawn Cove Abbey
Healing & Recovery
Roadside Assistance For Your Journey Through Life
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