|The "problem" or issue always looks much bigger, and more threatening,
through the bottom of an empty glass, or bottle.
A Native American elder once described
his own inner struggles in this manner:
“Inside of me there are two dogs.
One of the dogs is mean and evil.
The other dog is good.
The mean dog fights the good dog all the time."
When asked which dog wins,
he reflected for a moment and replied,
“The one I feed the most."
|You can run, but you can’t hide from yourself forever;
when the night, or the quiet moments come,
the terrors visit and invade your thoughts and dreams
- all the stuff you tried not to face.
How’s your avoidance coping working for you?
Why not consider to no longer run away, and facing your fear, instead?
Please remember that "if you always do what you've always done;
you always get what you always got".
Why continue turning to the one strategy
that has proven it doesn't work?
You've had enough of Self-defeating and
You can find the Courage you need, and
You are Never alone . . .
Like the entire site, this page is like a "Never Ending Story" book,
a constant work in process and progress.
Please return often.
|Only the Wounded Heal;
Only the separated reconcile
|Those who want to Heal
will find a way;
those who aren't ready yet,
will find an excuse.
always has an excuse . .
A "winner" always
has a program/plan.
This is not a quite
fair assessment in
many cases. It would
be more correct to
say that they always
have a "trigger" that
starts them off; and
the power of alcohol
keeps them going.
|How can you tell if an alcoholic is lying?
when their lips are moving.
Is true . . . but qualified
Dawn Cove Abbey
"Roadside Assistance" for your Journey through Life
- Dedicated to helping people return (and maintain) sanity and decency to life -
From, "One! The Journey hOMe", the eBook by Klaas Tuinman M.A © 2007-2019
Comments and Inquiries are welcome
|** NOTE: There is no consensus among the professionals who work in, or operate,
or are sponsors, in Recovery Work and Programs, on whether it is a
"learned habit", or a "disease".
1: AA and the 12-Step programs see alcoholism and addiction as a disease and operate
from a type of socio-medical approach. You can Google "alcoholism" and get
many hits on information about AA and 12-Step programs: they have their
successes - you might also investigate John Bradshaw's writing on alcoholism
and dysfunction based on the disease model.
Along the same vein, but on a different aspect of addiction/alcoholism: Codependency,
you can Google Melody Beattie for excellent writing on this.
2: A totally different view is offered by the Drinkwise organization's approach - it sees
the problem of alcohol as being one of habit that's gone out of control - and offers
a different approach to dealing with it. You can find more information about this
at DRINKWISE Canada, and also at DRINKWISE Australia
Follow/use the navigation menu to explore Alcoholism, it's effects and "why's"
further. Those pages will lead you to others which provide support: through insight,
through reading other people's stories, finding suggestions and descriptions of
strategies others have used (and the many successes).
|Alcoholics become/are consummate actors and actresses:
totally inauthentic chameleon-like performers
|ALCOHOLISM: A Family, Community and Social Affair
"Roadside Assistance" In The Journey Of Life.
Detoxifying the Conditioned Alienated Mind.
|A "loser" always has an excuse;
A winner always has a "program/plan".
This site can help you design your own program.
| Why is alcoholism considered insidious and subtle?
The following hypothetical analogy about a frog in water will help:
it is based on a frogs' ability to adjust its body temperature to
its surroundings; it aptly illustrates the power of subtle
change to escape our awareness
- do NOT try this at home!
If a frog were to fall or jump into a pan of boiling water, it would
jump out faster than the eye can see. But if a frog falls asleep in
a pan of water that is at the its body temperature, and the heat
slow increased to a boil, the frog will stay in the water
-- even to the point of boiling alive.
This is because the frog would not notice the gradual change in
temperature: Alcohol-ism works the same way: the heat is
constantly turned up, but nobody notices - because it's so
gradual: cunning, deceptive, and baffling!
It is a progressive "disaster". Initially, people may start out
with casually accepting unacceptable behavior(s); "Oh, he/she
didn't mean that, she/he just had too much to drink last night".
But a few years down the road the behaviour will have slowly
grown more and more intolerable, but it is still being accepted
and becomes the "norm."
The question I'm asked most often is "Why don't they just Quit?"
or "Why can't I quit, or find it so hard to quit?"
While there is no quick "one-size-fits-all" answer to those - there
are road signs pointing toward answers (and thus solutions and
recovery). For as we saw above, the situation in most cases is a
result of a reaction to something, or "things" - a coping strategy,
in which among others, fear is involved.
So to really address this challenge - it is necessary to deal with the
original reasons ("issues", or "triggers") that it was a response to
- as well as the underlying un-named fear. (There is also the
fear of detoxing and withdrawal, which highly unpleasant - and
can be very dangerous). And remember the Dopamine Factor
The other "collateral victims" (family members, etc) can begin their
recovery whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not:
see Children Of Dysfunction and Codependency, for example.
But it can't happen until somebody picks up the telephone, writes a
message, or takes some other steps, and asks for help. There is hope
and help out there; including here on this site.
Click icon below
|Winning vs Losing >
The difference lies
|I can give you a tip to a direction
that works well for many people.
Rather than trying to recover by
"only" to just stop using has
proven to not be a good solution.
What has worked, and does
work, is to "create a new life",
as in making changes in your
life, and your lifestyle; and
addressing some of the factors
and issues that led to you
becoming an "alcoholic".
By making that kind of change,
you fortify your ability to
resist turning to alcohol
again the next time the factors
that brought you your
addiction show up again
(and they will).