|We drank for joy
and became miserable.
We drank for sociability
and became argumentative.
We drank to be outgoing
and became self-centered.
We drank for sophistication
and became crude and obnoxious.
We drank for Inner Peace
and became consumed with fear.
We drank for friendship
and made enemies.
We drank to nurture ourselves
and became bitter and spiteful.
We drank to soften our sorrow
and wallowed in self-pity.
We drank to help us sleep
and awakened exhausted.
We drank to gain strength
and it made us weaker.
We drank to forget
and were forever haunted.
We drank to be liked and popular
and became skanks.
We drank for exhilaration
and ended up depressed.
We drank for "medical reasons"
and acquired health problems.
We drank for confidence
and became doubtful.
We drank to help us calm down
and ended up with the shakes.
We drank for bravery and to get more confidence
and became afraid.
We drank to be carefree with
no responsibilities, and lost our own, and
other people's respect and trust.
We drank for certainty
and became uncertain.
We drank to make conversation flow more easily
and the words came out slurred and incoherent.
We drank to diminish our problems
and saw them multiply.
We drank for freedom
and became slaves.
We drank for power
and were powerless.
We drank to escape fear,
and became more fearful and paranoid.
We drank to numb our pain
and became more tormented.
We drank to feel "heavenly"
and ended up feeling like "hell".
We drank for Love
and drove it away.
We drank to ease our problems
and saw them multiply.
We drank finally, even when we did not even want to
and couldn't stop.
We drank to cope with life
and invited emotional, spiritual and physical death.
What was YOUR reason?
and what did You get instead?
Getting and Staying Sober
and having Serenity
is the only way to go!
|Dealing with an Inner Struggle?
A Native American elder once described
his own inner struggles in this manner:
“Inside of me there are two dogs.
One of the dogs is mean and evil.
The other dog is good.
The mean dog fights the good dog all the time."
When asked which dog wins,
he reflected for a moment and replied,
“The one I feed the most."
~George Bernard Shaw
|The "answers" I have for you? They are here -above- and inside you;
see "Notes On A Refrigerator Door" as well.
I suspect Fear would be something for you to look at deal with; as well as low
esteem and self-confidence issues; and maybe the self-disgust and
loathing . . . all of these reveal themselves in the list above: there
are more - re-read, absorb, reflect - and they may come to you.
Also see the *NOTE* below.
You can run, but you can’t hide from yourself;
when the night, or the quiet moments come,
the terrors visit and invade your thoughts and dreams
- all the stuff we tried not to face. ~Sensei Yoda
How’s your avoidance coping working for you?
Ever considered not running any more and facing your life?
I sincerely wish for you (or others in your life) that this page and site may lead
to your/their Awakening.
|Only the Wounded Heal;
Only the separated reconcile.
|How do people become alcoholics?
Why do they choose alcohol?
It's an age-old question, yet I don't know why You drink, and I don't
know specifically why others drink; but I'm sure that whatever the
reason is, it's not working for you (or not working well).
A bit further belows, this page presents reasons (rationalizations)
others gave, and their assessment of how well those worked.
There are all sorts of reasons for why people drink excessively:
-or for excessive abuse of some other substance or activity-
(in essence, they are often Coping Strategies - which back-fired)
For some it might initially have been a "dare", or for the thrill - and
they were unaware of the power of the substance to hook them;
for others, whatever their original reason, as they got high, they
noticed how it made things they didn't want to deal with go way so
they kept/keep returning to it - although the "reprieve" is only
temporary; and there's also the Dopamine Factor.
Sometimes, people may drink to relieve a depressed mood; to 'drown
their sorrows.' Occasionally, drinking excessively is a symptom of
severe clinical depression. Ironically, alcohol is a central nervous
system depressant, so the initial depression will be intensified.
|Now, let's have a look at the reasons other people gave: perhaps they'll be the
catalyst that provides you with an answer to "why" in your own life - on your
healing journey (or into someone else's).
I don't have "the" answer, but you may find some below, and you'll find plenty of
other information and stories on the site that can give you insight that will
provide you with the opportunity for change: and I can be of assistance that may
help you find Your answer - and effect your healing.
REASONS: Coping Strategies - Skills Assessment
Each of us experiences life, and encounters situations
and circumstances, in our own way.
Different ways: our responses to those are as unique
and individual as we are ourselves.
Thus, people form different addictions and dysfunctional behaviour patterns.
NOTE: Many of these also apply to other "Addictions/Habits", whatever they are.
|Those who want to heal
will find a way;
those who aren't ready yet,
will find an excuse.
|An "alcoholic" always has an excuse
A winner always has a program.
|Dawn Cove Abbey
"Roadside Assistance" For Your Journey Through Life
- Dedicated to helping people return (and maintain) sanity and decency to life -
From the eBook: "One! The Journey hOMe", by Klaas Tuinman MA © 2007-2019
Questions and comments welcomed.
|There is that brief, very brief moment or instant, just before taking that drink,
that you are aware, totally, as to WHY you're doing so - the reason for it
- what it is you're trying to accomplish - but at the same time in an even
briefer instant, rejecting what you could/should be doing instead to truly
and really address the reason. Not addressing it is purely avoidance,
and the step you are about to take will at best give you a brief respite
- but is only symptom treatment: not your solution to the reason, or the why.
IF you take the time to think about it - reflect on it - be honest with yourself,
and face that fear . . . you may be able to think of more productive ways out,
and begin your recovery. I think it is worth considering on your part.
I will be discussing this in more detail on the "About Healing" page, and
elsewhere: it may be the "ah-ha" thing that can provide understanding,
and point at a solution; not just for addiction abuse, but also for other
challenges people may have to deal with and cannot find a way to do so
successfully. I invite your comments.
|If you always do what you've always done,
you always get what you always got.
If you want a different outcome:
Try something else - anything else . . .
|Successful escape from ownership and responsibility eludes you.
Before getting into the reasons people give for excessive drinking (and indulging in
other addictive, mind-altering substances) below, here's another consideration.
In a blaming/shaming society, alcoholic inebriation is a seemingly perfect way to escape
blame (ownership-responsibility) for one's actions, antics and words: you can "avoid"
blame for it all, by blaming it on the substance - many people will "buy" that ploy.
However, it fails to take into consideration the initial decision or choice to take that route . . .
Successful escape from ownership and responsibility eludes you.
Here is a list of many of the reasons (and outcomes) others gave for why they drank . . .
Please see the *NOTE* on the "Why" at the bottom of the list
|I/We drank for . . . .
Coping Strategies that don't work
|More often it is the other way around, and depression is a consequence of excessive
drinking. It is important to be clear about the extent to which the depression is
causing the excessive drinking or the drinking causing depression.
Alcohol is a depressant of the brain, reducing one's ability to face up to problems
and releasing inhibitions. This is why it plays such an important part in overcoming
social fears; for instance, helping conversation flow at a party. For some, alcohol
releases powerful feelings of self hatred and disgust, producing angry, aggressive,
or suicidal behaviour. We all know people who have become gloomy and
embittered when drunk and yet have little recollection of this mood the following day.
Some individuals drink alcohol as a means of bolstering self confidence, or
obtaining relief from anxiety and distress, including depression, of course. If
dissolving tensions and grief in this way is so common, it is understandable
that excessive drinking and depression are so closely linked.
Some people who are very depressed and lacking in energy, may use alcohol to
help them keep going and cope with life. This is a very short-lived solution
because any benefits of alcohol soon wear off and the drinking becomes part
of a routine, and therefore difficult to change.
Alcohol is like other drugs acting on the brain, such as tranquillisers; it produces
tolerance so that we need a larger and larger dose to get the desired effect. In
consequence, the drinker finds that he or she can take large quantities but feel
very little benefit. This tolerance or habituation is a step toward dependence.
These are only some of the reasons, because actually, there are as many reasons,
as there are people who drink.